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JOURNALESE

I was glad to read recently how incomprehensible the language of city planners is to newspapermen. I decided to call the author of the article and express my appreciation:

"Hello, I'd like to speak to a reporter of yours named Terrance Wills."

"Is he oncityside or the nightrewritedesk ?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe he's at his type-writer."

The operator said something under his breath and then connected me to the third assistant executive city editor. After about.15 minutes of this I was finally able to communicate directly with Mr. Wills:

"That was a great story you did on 'plannerese', sir," I told him. "Where did you get the idea for it?"

"Why, I just went to the morgue one day when there weren't many obits to do and I got a few clippings. Then I talked with the copy - editor and he gave me a 32- pointitalicheadlinewithanoverhangingdeck ."

"It that good?"

"Sure it is. Even acub knows that. Well I wrote a couple of takes and got it inthebox just before the deadline for the second nightfinaledition ."

"Is that hard to do?" I asked. My head was beginning to ache.

"What? Sure, I guess. Listen, I'd like to discuss this with you further but I'm on the rewritedesk and my legman is going to be calling in a scoop any minute now. Good-bye."

I sat there with the phone in my hand, thankful that in this complex age the journalists are still preserving simple English.


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